Hello, my name is Edward James and I’m an addict. I’m also host of THE WITHDRAWAL podcast.

I wanted to start off by thanking everyone that has listened to our podcasts and spent time at FACEBOOK.COM/THEWITHDRAWAL and THEWITHDRAWAL.COM…our official website. More and more of you are emailing and messaging us with your questions and we are honored to serve our community. Thank you. We look forward to hearing from more of you.

Now…in this, the third episode of The Withdrawal, I’m going to focus on triggers. Specifically, a simple definition, examples of triggers, how they trick our minds into using, and most importantly…how to self-identify triggers and remove them from our environment…or…equally as important…how to remove ourselves from an environment full of triggers.

As always, I’ll use my past experiences as real-world examples of triggers in order to bring the point home.

Interestingly enough, a trigger on a GUN is the spring-loaded mechanism that is pressed to fire the weapon. The destructive capability of a gun is devastating. It kills, maims, and creates fear in the hearts of innocents.

Now, I’m not here to argue second amendment rights or any other ridiculous political positioning. I’m just telling you that the trigger of a gun…and the gun itself…has a few similarities to addiction triggers and the devastation that we addicts cause to ourselves and others around us.

Can you see it? Hopefully, you can…

An addiction trigger is any influence that creates an irresistible urge to use our DOC… our drug of choice.

Remember biopsychosocial? The frame of reference we use to define our addiction and how to overcome it? BPS, or biopsychosocial, deals with triggers, as well.

Things that trigger our body, mind,

So, what kinds of influences can lead us to use?

I’ll give you one of mine.

I abused prescription opiates for close to ten years. At my worst, I was taking over 600 MG per day. Those drugs came from my prescriptions and other people’s prescriptions. Those prescriptions came from pharmacies.

The pharmacies are located all over the place on every single main road in America. Pharmacies trigger me, even to this day.

If I’m driving down the road and see a massive CVS sign welcoming me, dark thoughts begin to swirl in my mind. I immediately obsess about picking up a prescription of Oxycontin or Roxicodone.

I can’t help but have flashbacks of days gone by in which I’d hide myself away from my wife and kids, deep in the recesses of my basement. After taking two Roxicodone 30MGs out of the bottle, I would smash them to fine powder and arrange them in a perfect line. After staring at the perfection of those lines for a few seconds, I’d then snort them into my nostrils.

Soon thereafter, my body would come to rest. All negative thoughts would drift away, although none of them would be resolved. All the lies and the stealing, and the hurting of those I love would become insignificant. I was high and that’s all that mattered back then.

All that brought back to the forefront of my mind just by looking at a CVS sign on the side of the road. That is what a trigger is…and that is what a trigger does to us addicts…even long after we’ve gotten sober.

So, what do you think a trigger will do to an addict still in the throes of addiction? Triggers kill. Triggers destroy. Triggers…at a minimum cause relapse and disruption in the lives of addicts.

I used myself as an example to prove another point to you, as well. Let me spell this out for everyone…

There is no cure for addiction. Any treatment center that promises you a cure is a place you should never communicate with again. You’ll wind up going there believing in something that your heart begs for…but something you’ll never receive.

And in that lie of a cure, you’ll eventually feel shameful for being one that was not cured. That shame will be a trigger and that trigger will cause a relapse that may very well kill you because your tolerance is very low after detoxing.

At a minimum, you’ll relapse and the treatment center that promised you a cure will shame and abandon you because you failed them. The reality is that they failed you.

Yes, there I go again…I’ve strayed off topic…but I needed to. Seek and find the right treatment and there’s no end to the great life you will build. Get lured into treatment that is false and deal with the relapse and shame that follows.

Now…what was I saying to you? Uhhh…right…there is no cure for addiction. There is also no stopping triggers. You can learn to identify triggers before you’re triggered. You can learn to be strong and redirect your thoughts when a trigger manifests itself to you. You can even learn how to avoid triggers altogether.

One last time…there’s no cure for addiction and there’s no end to triggers and their ability to lure you back into a relapse.

Where I was going with my little example is this…as I’ve just said, CVS signs and all drug stores are triggers to me. They’re triggers that I can’t avoid.

After all, what am I going to do…move to a deserted island? Live inside my house and never go out?

No…for me drug stores…especially CVS are a trigger, and they will always be. After realizing that, I knew that the only way to handle a trigger such as that would be to learn how to cope, keep my mind strong, and create redirects in my mind.

I’ll go over all of that in this episode…fear not.

Let’s play the tape all the way through on my example…and when I say “play the tape all the way through”, I’ve just given you the name of one of the best tools you’ll learn in a proper treatment place.

Playing the tape all the way through means…as soon as you sense a trigger…the very microsecond you sense a trigger…the very next thing you do is create a mental movie of what would happen if you took your usual course of action.

By doing that, you can then self-realize that that course of action is a bad one, and you’ll then move a muscle and change a thought.

Now, it’s a lot easier for me to do this after going to rehab twice and being sober for a few rock-solid years. For someone still suffering in active addiction, or for a person that has just gotten out of treatment and has less than a year of clean time, what I said can be difficult for the first few times.

Allow me to explain…

I’ll use my example of CVS. I used to live in Fairfield, Connecticut, and less than five minutes away from me was the CVS that I’d gone to for decades. The pharmacists knew me, and it was there that I always picked up my main prescriptions for opiates.

I mean, I was seeing a few doctors and picking up many monthly scripts…but the CVS that I’m referring to is the one in which I actually used my insurance and picked my pills up legally.

I also travelled through other parts of Connecticut and New York to pay cash for illegal prescriptions. As I’ve said, the things I do in life, I do well. I’m usually the best at things both negative and positive.

Now, there was a side entrance to the CVS right before the Mobil station at the traffic light. Once I saw the traffic light and the Mobil sign…I was triggered. My body would sweat…my hands would shake…my mind would race to thoughts of a full bottle of pills rattling around in my hand.

The traffic light was a trigger…the Mobil gas station was a trigger…the CVS sign was a trigger…the store entrance was a trigger…the pharmacy counter was a trigger…the pharmacist saying “hello” to me was a trigger…being handed bottles of pills in a crinkly white paper bag was a trigger…

Any one of those things…back then…would have triggered me enough into crushing up my drugs and snorting them until I was passed out.

Even if I were going to the CVS to pick up something for my wife and kids…those things would still trigger me.

It took me more than a year before I felt comfortable going into a CVS by myself without being triggered into calling one of my dealers and buying some drugs.

How did I do it? I played the tape all the way through.

I also tried to make sure that I told my wife everything. If I was triggered, I’d call her. Yes, a sponsor would have been better for that, but I never followed proper 12 step protocols.

I’ll talk about the 12 steps in great detail next month…

So, the moment I saw the traffic light and the Mobil gas station…even if I wasn’t pulling into the CVS…I’d immediately play the movie of my past drug use in order to watch it and learn how not to use.

I’d see the traffic light…then I’d start to sweat and shake…instead of calling my dealer or pulling into the CVS…I’d call my wife or sponsor…or friend and talk them into talking me out of my trigger moment.

If they weren’t around, I’d turn right…away from the CVS instead of left which would take me right past the drug store. Instead of allowing my mind to obsess, I’d instead play the tape through.

I’d envision what I used to do. After being triggered, I’d go into the CVS and pick up my prescription…or a bottle of Nyquil…or I’d call my dealer and buy drugs…or whatever.

After having drugs in hand, I’d go home, and use. My wife would then know what I was doing, and she would divorce me and take the kids. My life would be ruined, and I would more than likely die………THE END.

That is playing the tape through from beginning to end. By envisioning the fact that if I used, I would then be divorced and die…even if that wasn’t necessarily 100% true…I could then break from my habit/behavior of using and instead I’d go buy a soda and drink it.

Buying a soda wouldn’t cause my wife to divorce me. It wouldn’t cause me to be impaired. It wouldn’t cause me to not be able to love my children…and it wouldn’t cause me any other destruction.

I’d also play the tape through of positive actions and see the rewards at the end of them…because yes…I still love a good reward.

I’d picture buying a soda instead of using drugs and at the end of that tape…my wife would give me a huge smile…a huge kiss…a huge hug…and my night would be good.

After presenting myself with a healthy option…I would then force myself to take quick action in choosing the good path.

Time is always against us as addicts. When we learn how to play the tape through…it’s important to identify the right course of action and then don’t delay…take the right action quickly.

In the beginnings of sobriety…we can sometimes identify the right action, but then decide to wait it out. We’ll allow the voice of our addiction back out of its cage and you know what that voice will tell us…yeah….

When presented with a right choice…move quickly toward it.

Alright, there’s an example of one of my triggers. It’s actually a group of five to seven triggers that all trigger the same reaction.

Let’s sum it up…

At one point, the traffic light, the Mobil station, the CVS, the inside of the store, the pharmacist, and the bottle of pills were all unidentified triggers.

Even though I wasn’t aware of them, their pull was strong. In fact, the pull was almost stronger when it existed in my subconscious. There was no push back and those triggers were free to push me into action…the action of taking drugs.

Step one was to identify them. Once identified, they lost a little control over me. My conscious mind, from that point forward, was able to warn me the moment the first trigger struck.

Even after identifying the triggers, I still was using though. There was another step that needed to be learned.

Step two was playing the tape all the way through. We just spoke about that. Take your trigger and create a movie of what will happen next in your mind…and I don’t mean here’s the trigger…and now I use.

Play the tape through means go through all negative consequences as a result of allowing the trigger to cause you to use…and don’t leave any detail out. Who will you hurt? What destruction will you cause? All of it.

Once you’ve played the tape through, create a second and third option that don’t require using drugs. Now play that tape through. Can you call a sponsor or a loved one? Can you physically remove yourself from the environment that triggers you to use? Can you just listen to music or do some other thing that brings you joy?

Play a safe option through your head. Now act on one of the healthy options. A non-using option.

Acting on a safe course of action is what we call “move a muscle, change a thought”. I know, it seems reversed…but bear with me.

Move a muscle, change a thought also means don’t just sit by yourself obsessing about using drugs. While alone we are our worst enemies. Sitting alone with nothing to do causes us to use.

You see…boredom is also an enemy of ours.

So…move a muscle and change a thought then means don’t sit there doing nothing because the next thing you’ll do is get high. Get up…exercise, go create something, play with your kids, do your chores, call a sponsor…move a muscle, change a thought already!!!

Now, I’ll be honest…what I just said is not easy to do. While high…it’s almost impossible to do. Nevertheless, you must get there. With some help and learning you’ll be able to achieve these goals and get sober.

The very first time you’re able to resist a trigger, you’ve just earned a great victory. However, there’s no time to celebrate. The first time you resist taking drugs, remember how you did it. Go through it again in real life.

That’s exactly how I did it. After resisting the triggers that I just spoke of for the very first time, I’d purposely drive by the Mobil and the CVS to really strengthen my resolve and create a new habit.

A habit of resisting one of my worst triggers.

I’d drive towards the Mobil and instead of allowing my mind to wander to thoughts of using, I’d get gas or buy a drink. I’d drive to the CVS and instead of obsessing about picking up a script, I’d force myself to buy band aids or just walk through the store once and walk out with nothing at all.

When working on these techniques, you may hear the words Cognitive Behavioral Therapy being used. CBT is a methodology of identifying and reframing distorted views, obsessive thoughts and actions, and a positive way of changing most of the habits we’ve developed during our addiction.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a big topic…and as usual, it requires an entire podcast or two to go through and start learning about it.

I’m not a doctor…I must always tell you that. My views are from the perspective of a recovered addict that does a ton of research and has a ton of personal experiences. I’ll tell you what I know about CBT on a future podcast.

Anyway, as part of identifying and beating our triggers, we must create an action plan to resist and reprogram.

Identify a trigger, then create a plan. The plan will take something big and break it down into smaller, more achievable goals. That’s the essence of fighting triggers.

Once again, triggers will always be there. Triggers can be avoided, or we can fight them using psychotherapeutic techniques.

Let’s talk about avoiding triggers. We might be able to avoid many triggers, but it is useless to think that we can avoid them all.

One key group of triggers that we can avoid are environmental triggers. For example, after detoxing and staying in rehab for 60 days to maybe even many months…it’s always best to move as far away from your previous environment as possible.

So, if you aren’t married and don’t have kids…please consider moving to another state…away from your dealers, away from your drug friends, and away from every single street, store, and location where you used to be triggered into using.

Trust me on this…it’s a huge advantage to start fresh. Move into a sober living facility, stay near other sober people, start going to meetings where you can be helped to plug into your new life by other caring individuals who have been sober for years.

There’s always old-timers at these meetings. Guys and gals with ten years or much more of sobriety. Reach out, identify yourself and the fact that you’re new to it all. They will help.

Do not sit quietly thinking that other people can read your mind. They can’t.

As always, the effort you put into your recovery is in direct correlation to what you’ll get out of it.

We must always put maximum effort into our recovery.

I see too many people that go get treatment, but once out…they soon go back to their old using ways.

They’ll tell me “Ed, I didn’t know what to do next. Ed, I was going stir crazy, I had no one to talk to. Ed…it’s impossible.”

I hear you….I truly do…

While in recovery, you must build a plan. Don’t be a passive observer to your life. Be the leader of your life. Master the techniques they teach you in rehab, then…before you go home…know where your local meetings are and at what time…have a therapist set up locally and know when your first appointment is…land with a plan.

There we go off the rails again…where were we…

Right, avoidance of major triggers. Move somewhere far away. It works. Going to treatment and then going right back into your drug using environment immediately reduces your chance of success. This I know to be true.

So, what if you can’t move somewhere else? Well, you better have a darn good reason…first of all. There better be some heavenly inspiration for you to stay in the same place that got you so addicted.

I was one of those…so let me tell you my story.

I went to rehab twice before getting sober…and I didn’t stay sober after going to rehab for the second time. Rehab taught me great lessons, but I still resisted. By not moving somewhere new and not changing my environment, I relapsed many times before getting sober.

By not having a plan and not identifying my triggers, I relapsed many times. I’ve seen and experienced the worst of addiction.

Here’s lesson one. They say…and by they, I mean millions of sober addicts…they say that anything you put before your recovery, you will lose…and I did.

Twice I went to rehab, and twice I left early because I needed to go back to work…I thought. Well, twice, I lost my job within weeks of getting back from rehab. I put my job before my recovery, and I lost that job…and relapsed because of the stress of it all.

I lost my job, I didn’t take going to meetings seriously, and when I went to meetings, I’d seek out the addicts that definitely weren’t interested in recovery. Yes, there are addicts that go to meetings and then leave to go use drugs.

As I said, going back to your drug using environment will make your recovery ten times harder than it needs to be.

Make sure you take meetings seriously, and make sure the people you hang around with at those meetings are the right people. If you’re talking to someone and you realize they’re still using, then politely excuse yourself and speak to someone else.

I mean what…do you think you’re going to hurt their feelings? And who cares if you do. Only your sobriety matters.

Make sure you’ve got an appointment to see a therapist within the first week of coming home. If your therapist of choice can’t see you for three weeks, go call another therapist. What’s your recovery worth to you?

Have a plan and execute.

Next item on the agenda…block all drug related contacts on your phone and then delete their contacts. Do the same with your email. You cannot be tempted.

Remember, we’re talking about triggers. Every single person that you used to use with, and every single drug dealer is a trigger. Even talking about old drug stories can trigger you. Don’t contact those types of people.

Alright, so before leaving treatment, you’ll know your meetings, know your therapist, delete all negative contact and be serious about it. If one of them calls from another number, hang up. If they call again, tell them you’re done with it all.

If you owe someone money and they’re after you…well, I told you to move far away, didn’t I?

If you owe someone money and they are a drug dealer or dope fiend, they might resort to violence. Trying to have them arrested might still be a violent thing. It’s a hard one. No matter what path you choose, do not use.

Find a relative or loved one that understands the value of your sobriety. Perhaps they’d be willing to give you the money…and when you pay your debt, do not go alone. Do not buy any drugs…do not spend time reminiscing with them.

Pay the dope man and get the heck out of there. Do not look back and never call them again.

Ah…there are just so many triggers and so little time…

I think the point has been driven home. Staying in your old environment and dealing with all those familiar triggers is really difficult…seriously…think about moving…and then still get a therapist and go to meetings…

What about triggers dealing with specific dates? Perhaps the death of a loved one…or a particular holiday even?

Do you know that a holiday like Christmas can kill an addict?

Yep…Christmas is supposed to be about love, forgiveness, G-d, and family…but for an addict, it can mean dwelling on love lost, self-loathing, and deep depression. Most addicts prefer to be alone on holidays or, at a minimum, we get really high and sometimes overdose.

Try to force your beloved addict to spend the holiday with you and they might…or they might turn their phone off and disappear. Even if they’re with you, they’ll definitely find an excuse to disappear and use.

Perhaps, the triggering date is the death of a parent or child. That particular date will trigger an addict the same way a holiday will.

So, what’s the answer to that? Forcing yourself and your ideals upon the addicted will never work.

My solution was to go to rehab on Christmas. It was the best present I could’ve given myself and especially my wife and kids.

Honestly, the safest place for a hardcore addict on a triggering holiday or date is jail or rehab. I’m being serious.

And with that knowledge…the best possible option is treatment.

This will get repetitive, but seriously…all roads for an addict lead to jail, mental hospitals, death, or rehab.

Now, if you have the luxury of choosing…which do you prefer?

Treatment hopefully…

I’ve honestly spent the better part of this podcast only discussing environmental triggers…there are so many more that you should know.

How about getting a promotion at a job for you functional addicts?

Yeah…you get the big news and what do you go off and do? P-A-R-T-Y…Y? Because you gotta!!!!!!

Many positive things CAN be triggers so beware. Play the tape through and form a plan of action. Then don’t hesitate to make and take the right choice.

I briefly covered relationships, but let’s go deeper. If you are in love with a fellow addict, beware…your chances of staying sober while being in love with another addict are zero…yep…zero…so don’t do it.

When you go to treatment, part of your plan will be breaking up with your addicted lover or having them get into separate treatment before any contact is remade.

Then…and only then…if you are both sober…go seek therapy together outside of rehab. Get into couples therapy with a doctor that specializes in addictive relationships and addiction. Also go to therapy apart from one another.

It’s the only way to survive this. You’ll listen to me or you’ll learn the hard way.

Oh, there’s another crazy one that we should cover here. An acronym…HALT…Hungry…Angry…Lonely…Tired…Um..yeah…I think that’s it…

If you’re an addict and you’re hungry, lonely, angry, or tired…you will be triggered into using. It’s fact…I hate to tell you.

Once again, make a plan and stick to it. These triggers are killers. Go to meetings, hang around the right people in meetings because these meetings aren’t perfect, get a good therapist, write down all of your triggers, create mini steps on how to avoid the triggers and fight back against them…put in the work…put in the effort…FIGHT!!!

Alright, now, where were we? Emotions are triggers, over confidence/ego is a trigger, physical illnesses are triggers…isolation is a trigger….

Fudge it all!!!! Everything is a trigger…

Come on…take a breath and relax for a moment. Yes, so many things can trigger us as addicts. Once you’ve accepted that fact, then you should accept the fact that you should go to treatment and you should make your own plan for survival.

I’m here speaking to you and I’ve done it. I mean, I still need to work on some overeating triggers and some binge watching of TV issues, but I’ve spent years bettering myself and I feel pretty darn good.

I was a lost case not too long ago. My family ditched me, my friends disappeared, I had no job, I couldn’t find another one, we lost our house, we filed for bankruptcy….and yet here I am happy and with a heart full of love.

How’d I do it? Yes, I have the support of an incredible wife. Yes, I have two great kids. Hey, I could’ve easily messed that up too though.

Seriously, I never gave up hope. Even when every single thing on the planet felt like it was failing, I just got through one day at a time…ha-ha…one day at a time…there has to be something to it for that sentence to still be used and have such great effect.

As we always say here at The Withdrawal, there’s hope as long as the heart still beats. It’s that simple.

Listen, if you’re newly recovered and you face a trigger and relapse…don’t get disheartened. Tell your therapist, get to a meeting and tell your group immediately…go back into treatment and spend more time there.

Getting sober is like a washing machine…rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat…instead it’s like…get triggered…relapse…back to treatment…work harder…get back out there…get triggered but don’t relapse…remember what you did and write that memory in permanent ink…

Alright, we’re at the finish line for today. Look, you’ve got to get honest. Stop lying to yourself. Get help…none of us can do this alone. Addiction is a daily repetition of bad habits. Break one…and perhaps you’ll break them all.

As always, I’m here to help. We at The Withdrawal are here to help. But what does that help mean?

We’ve had a few communications from people new to us and they ask the same thing. How exactly can The Withdrawal help me?

Let me explain. On a passive level, please come back and listen to my podcasts. Go to our Facebook.com/thewithdrawal page and follow us. Go to THEWITHDRAWAL.COM and read what we have to say.

On an active level, you can email us at [email protected]. Ask us what rehab you should go to and how to get checked in. Ask us how we got through a tough time? Tell us about yourself and ask any questions that you have.

We’ve been where you are…we know what to say to you…and every single communication is anonymous. Even if you tell us your name…we don’t use it. We don’t call your wife or husband. We don’t call your job.

Our only goal is to help you. Try trusting us. Try reaching out.

For those that have, thank you so much for allowing us into your life.

For those that haven’t…we are still praying for you. We send out daily meditations to you to steer you in the right direction.

Enough now…let’s do our relaxation. Please do these breathing exercises…they’ll help.

The goal, after getting our emotions up and addressing all the negativity of addiction, is to calm ourselves and relax.

Now take three deep breaths. Breath in for three or four seconds and hold your breath for two to three seconds…then breath out slowly while trying to purge your negative thoughts. Repeat that a second time, but bring in a good memory or emotion as you draw your second breath in. As you hold that breath, truly focus on that good thought…latch onto it and don’t let go…as you exhale stay latched onto your good thought.

Now, slowly draw in your third breath over three to four seconds…hold it…and exhale….

Good, we’re getting there.

Once again, I’m your host and fellow addict Edward James. This is The Withdrawal Podcast and I want to thank you personally for coming back and listening week after week.

Please visit us at Facebook.com/TheWithdrawal and at THEWITHDRAWAL.COM. There you can follow us and stay connected.

Have a great rest of your week and I’ll talk to you soon.